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QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF – Moving together under the same roof is an important step for the couple. By crossing this milestone, we formalize our commitment and we embark on the adventure of life together on a daily basis. The awakenings, the evenings, the nights, the meals, the weekends, and all that involves obligations, organization and projects.
Obviously, this does not mean doing everything together and being glued 24/7, but it would be a lie to say that living together will not change your way of life, your rhythm, your habits. Is this the next step in your relationship? Is this project under consideration or in progress? What are the 12 essential questions to ask yourself before living together? To be sure of your choice, here’s what to ask yourself before sharing the same address!
12 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE LIVING TOGETHER
#1 DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?
Stupid but essential question to ask yourself before any other, is it your dearest wish to live with your darling? Do you really want to live under the same roof and therefore get more involved in your relationship? In your soul and conscience (and with your heart, of course)?
#2 IS IT THE RIGHT TIME?
Do you think the timing of the two of you settling in is a good one? Appropriate, ideal? It’s up to you, depending on your story, if it’s not too early, if you’re not cutting corners. Perhaps, on the contrary, it is high time to take this step in order to develop your relationship. So, verdict? (QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF)
#3 IS THIS YOUR PERSONAL CHOICE?
Hear by that, is it your partner who gave you the idea or who insists? On your side, would you wait a little longer or not? Does choosing to settle down together respond to any social or family pressure? Societal even, to tell you that you have to “do like everyone else”?
#4 DO YOU REALLY LIKE HIM? ONE OF THE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE LIVING TOGETHER
By that, we mean loving him completely, with his qualities but above all his faults, his quirks, his fads, his phobias… Is the love you have for him strong enough to consider living together? What annoys you deeply about her or him, are you able to bear it on a daily basis without it damaging your feelings?
#5 DO YOU SEE YOURSELF WITH HER/HIM IN THE FUTURE?
Do you share common couple projects , a vision of the couple and the compatible future? If one dreams of marriage and babies and the other of traveling around the world, if one only sees through work and the other only through family life Or if you are simply unable to imagine yourself in his company in a year, 3 or 5, you may need to review your answers to the previous questions before packing your boxes! (QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF)
#6 DO YOU IMAGINE EVERYDAY LIFE THE SAME WAY?
You dream of snuggling up in his arms every night, of breakfasts in bed, of cuddling under the duvet, of cocooning evenings on the sofa… This is obviously what makes you dream, but it’s not what makes all the daily life of a couple.
If you are a homebody while the other is a party animal, if you imagine the daily life of shared dinners while he is always in afterwork. Or if you go to bed early and your partner goes to bed late.. So many things, which put together on a daily basis, risk highlighting your incompatibilities rather than your commonalities.
6 OTHER QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE LIVING TOGETHER
#7 DID YOU MENTION PRAGMATIC QUESTIONS?
And what about the concrete daily life, you know those famous pragmatic questions that you can’t escape. These topics represent the most common causes of arguments in a relationship , so be sure to agree on them quickly. So how do you see the sharing of household chores , meals, shopping? Do you have the same taste in decoration? Is there one rather manic and the other messy?
#8 AND THE MONEY? ONE OF THE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE LIVING TOGETHER
This is a sensitive issue for some people and therefore deserves to be settled before they even move in together. How will you manage common expenses? Do you plan to open a joint account? Will one pay the rent and the other the utilities and groceries, for example? If this question seems out of place for many, it is really worth asking and settling so that you start on a healthy and serene basis.
#9 ARE YOUR LIFESTYLES COMPATIBLE?
We can very well live together and not have exactly the same rhythm of life. Many couples live offbeat, especially during the week because of working hours, night shifts, 3/8 shifts and weekends as well. This does not prevent a couple from functioning.
But for that, you have to find your rhythm and above all make it compatible with the rest. Your sleep pattern, your personal activities such as sport, your sacred Friday night outings with friends or girlfriends… The goal is to find quality time for your couple under the same roof.
#10 ARE YOU AFRAID OF ROUTINE?
Do you feel anxious about settling into a daily routine or, on the contrary, does it reassure you? If you want to share all the little things in life together, then that’s fine. If, on the contrary, routine terrifies you, it’s up to you to do everything to prevent it from becoming boredom and to spice up your life as a couple.
#11 ARE YOU READY TO MAKE CONCESSIONS AND COMPROMISES?
Who says married life, necessarily says concessions and compromises. Even if you have a lot in common, shared tastes, little quarrelling, everything cannot be perfectly smooth. And so much the better, otherwise what a bore!
Your partner necessarily has a character trait, a habit, a taste for something in particular that annoys you or that you don’t like. It’s up to you to know how to make allowances for the little, unimportant things in order to maintain a good understanding between you.
#12 AND TO BE ACCOUNTABLE? ONE OF THE BASIC QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE LIVING TOGETHER
Unless you have chosen to be a totally free couple or to live with a roommate, living as a couple presupposes certain rules of life. Not constraints, let’s say rather obligations that seem logical; otherwise, what’s the point of living together? So are you ok with telling your partner if you’re coming home later than expected, where you are, when you’re going out, etc. ? It is not a question of no longer having a life of your own or a secret garden, but of being accountable so that one does not wait for the other in vain at home.
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