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MEET YOUR IN-LAWS – When you get into a relationship and the relationship seems to become serious, certain stages follow one another, more or less naturally. Sleeping at each other’s place, declaring your love, going away for the weekend then on vacation, introducing your friends, settling in together Among all these steps inherent in a couple who wants to embark on a love story, there there is that of the official presentations with his in-laws.

 And the question we can ask ourselves is the following: when should we meet our in-laws? Is there a deadline to respect? Is this a decision to be made as a couple? Here are some answers.

WHEN TO MEET YOUR IN-LAWS?

When to take the leap? Besides, is there a particular moment to make this famous first meeting with the in-laws ?

What if there were no fixed rules on this subject strictly speaking, and it was enough to do things naturally, when “you feel it”?

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A DEADLINE SPECIFIC TO EACH? (MEET YOUR IN-LAWS)

Some see introductions as something informal or not at all obligatory, and it happens unannounced quickly after a few weeks. Others, most of them, do not mix their love life and their family , especially their parents. Also they live their relationship at their own pace and they prefer to wait to see what happens to consider a meeting. So it can take several months , even a year or more if your in-laws live far from your partner. (MEET YOUR IN-LAWS)

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Indeed, the presentation with the in-laws is closely linked to the mode of family functioning of your darling . Does he often see his parents? Are they close? Accomplices? Depending on their family ties, the meeting will take place more or less quickly and more or less officially.

DO NOT RUSH BEFORE DECIDING WHEN TO MEET YOUR IN-LAWS

If there’s one thing most couples agree on, it’s that there’s no point in rushing and cutting corners. It is first important to build your couple before giving it another dimension. Afterwards, depending on the situation, the delay is more or less long . 

Indeed, if your partner lives with his parents, the meeting will certainly take place quickly even if it is informal at the start to exchange a simple hello. But from there to spending real time together over a meal, it may be fashionable to wait a bit. Avoid presenting your conquest the day after the first night is good advice. It would indeed be hasty and uncomfortable for everyone. (MEET YOUR IN-LAWS)

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So if your darling wants to skip the steps, don’t hesitate to tell him that it’s a bit fast and that there’s no rush. Better to be as presentable as possible to face this always a little stressful moment. The ideal is that everyone talks about their couple to their parents to prepare the ground upstream when they feel that the relationship is getting serious. 

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Talking about it one-on-one with your parents is the first step before the official introductions, it’s a good way to proceed.

A MATTER OF FEELINGS

Obviously, you don’t normally go as far as meeting your in-laws if you already know that your story won’t last and that you don’t have feelings for the other. It would be dishonest and hypocritical on your part, it would not only waste everyone’s time but would hurt your partner a lot. 

On both sides, therefore, your feelings must be taken into consideration to know if they are strong enough to take the next step. Talking together is the best way to find out if it’s time for the two of you to meet your in-laws.

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Above all, don’t do anything against your will. If you feel like it’s still a little early, that you don’t feel ready yet, be honest with the other person. It is a great proof of confidence and love to open the door of your family to the person with whom you are in a relationship, so do not make him regret his choice. (MEET YOUR IN-LAWS)

If you are just afraid, he or she will be able to de-stress you and reassure you. If this seems impossible to you at the moment, do not lie to him and tell him why and how you feel.

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WHEN TO MEET YOUR IN-LAWS? WHILE NOT

CONSIDER THE END OF HIS PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP

Sometimes, you don’t feel able to meet your in-laws or introduce your new partner to your family yet because of your romantic past. It’s a symbolic milestone, which can be important for some people to pass, and for that you have to be sure of yourself at all levels.

Moreover , if your parents were attached to your ex , there is no point in rushing things. It is more reasonable and above all healthier for everyone to wait a little. If your partner wants to introduce you to his parents while his ex’s place at the table in the family home is still “hot”, do not hesitate to tell him that there is no rush and that you do not wish to suffer any any comparison . In many situations, time is the best answer . So let some time pass. You are not close to a month.

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A QUESTION OF AGE?

How old are you both? Is this your first serious relationship, the first official introduction to the in-laws? Or on the contrary, you have been in your twenties for a long time, maybe you have even been married in the past and it is for each of you to rebuild your life after your divorce? Single parents, are you considering a blended family life?

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Depending on your age, therefore, and your previous family situation, the meeting does not have the same importance or the same impact. When we are barely out of adolescence or when we are still a young student, we plunge into the unknown. The notion of in-laws is a bit vague and we rely a lot on the other to reassure ourselves.

On the other hand, if you already have a certain maturity, a love life behind you, one or more meetings with in-laws under your belt, you can take things with more perspective. Young people, the presentation often has the value of formalization and validation on the part of the parents. After a certain age, you no longer consider their opinion with the same importance. 

The best is that things go well, especially if there are children in the story, so take the time to talk to your respective parents before, to see if your couple is solid before you start. Do not forget each of your side that this is not the first time that you introduce someone to your family. (MEET YOUR IN-LAWS)

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A VALUE OF RECIPROCAL COMMITMENT?

As we said, meeting your in-laws is in a way an additional and essential step in formalizing your relationship. It is proof of the strength of your relationship, of sincerity, and therefore necessarily of commitment . You are not going to agree to meet them if you do not project yourself into the future with their child. And conversely, it wouldn’t occur to you to introduce your partner to your parents if you were thinking of leaving him two days later.

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If some families are very relaxed about this and a meeting can remain informal and good-natured, it is up to you to know the importance that this meeting represents for you . How do you operate? And your family ? So what symbol does a meeting with your in-laws hold for you? 

Your personal and family values, those that you share in your couple and those of your partner must come together in order to define the importance to be given to this meeting. Depending, it’s up to you to decide if it should wait a year, or if you feel ready to take this step after just a few months. (MEET YOUR IN-LAWS)

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MEET YOUR IN-LAWS or When to meet your in-laws for the first time

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