CELICOUPLE: WHAT IS IT?

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CELICOUPLE – Living apart together , here is a new anglicism that appeared a few years ago to define a new love trend. In France, we speak more simply of celicouple. By this we mean couples who do not live together. Loving each other without sharing the same address, without living under the same roof, this is an increasingly fashionable trend. 

What’s original, you say? Couples not living together at the start of a relationship is common . Yes, except that here, we are talking about couples who have made this choice over time and who are together, engaged in a relationship that has been ongoing for several years, but each staying at home. Celicouple  : what is it? Which couples are concerned, why make this choice? Overview of this current trend.

CELICOUPLE: THESE COUPLES WHO LIVE ON THEIR OWN

The celicouple is a “portmanteau word” which designates couples who have been engaged in an exclusive romantic relationship and followed for several years but who have chosen not to live together. No house or apartment in common, no life under the same roof. Everyone keeps their home . Basically, these couples believe that “to live happily, live apart”!

Do they consider themselves more single than in a couple? A priori no, it has nothing to do with the wish to be a free couple, which would multiply meetings or have several partners. This responds to other reasons.

CELICOUPLE: WHO ARE THE COUPLES CONCERNED?

YOUNG COUPLES

Obviously, we can first mention young couples, often still students and living with their parents or with roommates. They do not yet earn their living, have odd jobs. And therefore choose to maintain their “real estate” independence as long as their situation is not more stable. They do not yet have the project to start a family, wish to take advantage of their freedom, in particular of their very full social life. These couples give each other time, but are not closed to the idea of ​​living together. This can last for several years.

BLENDED FAMILIES

They are more and more numerous, these blended families with each partner who already has one or more children from a previous union. Together, they do not want to have another child, often because of their age group (often between 40 and 50 years old). Or because they no longer want to, being already parents. As a result, nothing “forces” them to live together. Often, moreover, it is for the sake of not disturbing their children that they make this choice to live separately. 

The couple then chooses to live their relationship “at a distance” in order to avoid family problems or complications (custody, rhythm of life, change of school, etc.). However, most of the time they live close enough to each other to maintain a regular relationship.

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

Long-distance relationships are like a synonym for these celicouples. Because they are based on the very principle of the couple who do not share daily life together. For professional reasons, or because they met away from one of them or their home, these couples develop a long-distance romantic relationship that suits them and can last for years. Separated by a few hours by car, TGV or even plane sometimes, these couples find themselves for weekends and vacation times, each keeping their single lifestyle on a daily basis.

TWILIGHT LOVES

This pretty expression refers to couples who meet late, after 50 years and well after, retirement age arriving or already there. These men and women are divorced, widowed or widowed. They meet when their children, if they have any, are already grown up and they often also have grandchildren. They are independent, have learned to live alone and make this choice of everyone at home to experience this twilight love . This is to share the good times with a new life companion, rather than with a daily spouse.

CELICOUPLE: WHY MAKE THIS CHOICE?

For all these couples who choose not to live together, what are their motivations? If distance, age (young or on the contrary advanced) and children are real pragmatic reasons for this choice, they are not enough to explain this phenomenon of celicouples.

PERSONAL FULFILLMENT

Couples who have made this choice deliberately find a strong personal fulfillment in this mode of operation. It’s a good way to continue to exist as a person. Not to trim his identity or his individuality. This leaves room for self-affirmation, a certain independence and autonomy.

MAKE LOVE LAST

Opting for non-cohabitation maintains the desire within the couple and allows the lack but also to maintain the flame. There is this part of mystery, this excitement which takes an important place in the couple who make more efforts to continue to seduce each other. To surprise each other. The feeling of lack settles more and the reunion can therefore be more carnal.

DON’T REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES

Most couples who make this choice have already lived together before, often with a family life. Common life which therefore ended in a separation or a divorce. Whatever the reasons, it can leave a bad memory or the desire to consider your new romantic relationship from another angle before not getting lost on the way and not repeating the same mistakes. It’s a way to protect yourself, but it doesn’t prevent love.

BETTER TORQUE BALANCE

For these couples, obviously not fusional and who trust each other, choosing not to live together means offering themselves a better balance as a couple. This may seem paradoxical and yet this is how they flourish. 

Couples who make this choice often develop a great sense of communication and great self-confidence. Not seeing each other constantly develops a greater form of dialogue. When they meet again, they have a lot to tell each other since they have each had their own experiences.

GET RID OF THE DANGER OF ROUTINE

Of course, for many couples who make this choice, it’s a great way to avoid falling into routine and especially the boredom they associate with it. Some couples are not made to share daily life, household chores, constraints, little hassles. They want to share only the good times, this joins the previous points, in order to maintain their independence, to cultivate desire, to flourish individually and not only together.

WHAT ARE THE DISADVANTAGES OF CELICOUPLE PRACTICE?

Many so-called “traditional” couples can see something illogical, even selfish, in this mode of operation. They need and want to live with their spouse, to be able to count on his presence and to share their daily lives.

But for these celicouples, their vision is quite different. However, disadvantages, even dangers can appear, if the two partners are not – or more – on the same wavelength.

Indeed, the “celicouple” only works if the two partners see things the same way and have the same vision in terms of the couple’s commitment taken together.

TRUST, LOYALTY, SUPPORT, PROJECTS.

If these values ​​are not shared and respected, then living as a single couple becomes a source of mistrust , stress and potential suffering .

And over time, each of the two partners can evolve differently. You have to make sure that not living under the same roof for the long term is a desire shared by both and not that one sees it only as an intermediate stage.

Indeed, if one of the two develops new desires, and they are not shared, this non-cohabitation can become a form of suffering. The risk is obviously present when a partner wants more: to see each other more, to try cohabitation, to have a child together …

Even if you don’t live together, you have to keep in mind that a couple must support and communicate with each other. This is the only way the celicouple, like a traditional couple, will be able to function.

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